Waiting, waiting waiting

Waiting to go into labor is the most perplexing experience that I can ever remember having. I can think of no other event that is so completely unpredictable and completely imminent at the same time. Especially since there is no way I can really remove myself from the situation or distance myself until it happens (unless maybe I was into meditation). Every little sensation I have makes me question whether its a sign of labor. Any little cramp, back pain, hard kick by baby girl, twinge, stomach growl, etc. Yes, I may be a bit crazy. :)  I have read so many descriptions of labor and contractions and they are all different. The most consistent description is that they can be different for every woman and with every pregnancy. Oy! That doesn't help much. So, not only am I waiting for any little sign, I have no idea what those signs should really feel like. What a head scratcher, eh?

It may be irrational, but I have this fear I won't know I'm in labor and will ignore it. Or that I'll jump the gun and go to the hospital, just to be sent home. It probably doesn't help that my doctor was out of town this week, so I have 10 days between appointments, rather than a week, so I have no idea if I'm dilating or not (I wasn't at my last appt.) I know that women have been having babies since the beginning of time and I shouldn't worry - everyone tells me I will know when I'm in labor. And I'm sure every first time mom has felt this same way. :)

My due date is bit unique as well. According to my last menstrual period, our baby's due date is Jan. 16. I waited to go to the doctor until I was 16 weeks for insurance reasons, and they did an ultrasound that day, which is later than they prefer for the first ultrasound. According to that ultrasound (and the other 2 as well), baby is due Jan 11 - tomorrow! I've gotten different answers from the doctor's office as to which date to follow. I told the doctor I didn't want to be induced unless I had to. He said that in that case, we'll use the later date to be more conservative (which I appreciate) and plan on inducing Jan. 22 or 23 if I haven't had her yet. That being said, I'm really hoping it won't matter and that she'll come before then on her own. Right now, that seems like a forever!! I may drive myself crazy before then!

I'm getting so anxious to meet this little lady! I've been looking at Brett and my baby pictures trying to imagine what she may look like. I can't wait to see her face and hold her in my arms and hear her cry. There are so many pregnancy symptoms that I can't wait to be gone, but hat being said, I'm very much going to miss feeling my little sweet girl moving around in my belly. Nothing compares. Even when she's kicking my ribs or bouncing on my bladder, I have such a joy knowing she's in there healthy and happy.

I can't wait for this little bundle to officially join our family and to start this next great adventure in life! I'm so grateful for the blessing of motherhood, already and can't wait to see what adventures will come.

~Heather